Questioning the question: regaining some teaching mojo

The Climax of the Crucible meets Exam Preparation

I love my Thursday mornings. Thursday morning involves an incredibly pleasant series of three back to back lessons with my Year 13 Language and Literature class (AQA Spec' B).  I have five pupils, all female, who are a delight to be in the room with and my choice of teaching 'The Crucible' could not be more apt for this group. I am most often the teacher I want to be in these lessons.  

We have reached the last few pages of The Crucible where John Proctor is tormented by the decisions that are enforced upon him; he is in conflict with himself and caught between his desire to live and his desire to tell the truth. Anyone who knows The Crucible will know that these are not compatible desires. It can only be one or the other.  

As I have already said, the girls are just lovely, but as girls are want to do, they often seem to hedge their bets and lack the conviction and courage to theorise and hypothesise (Extended Abstract thinking) about what they see in a text.  I have been using and experimenting with SOLO in these lessons and one of them often tells me how much she likes it when we do because, "I know where I am and I can see where I need to go." Cue teacher beam. 

This lesson was based entirely around questioning, but not mine, it was their ability to formulate questions I wanted to focus on.  The idea being that I could give them the means to a) unpick the exam question with confidence and b) show them how to move their thinking onto Extended Abstract  - something they have made tentative steps towards, but not quite landed in with feet fully planted. 

So, let  me run through the lesson.

Year 13 The Crucible – Act 4 Part 2

Lesson Objectives

TBAT generate lower to higher order questions about the sample exam question

TBAT to reformulate questions to enable you to produce an Extented Abstract response

TBAT use the generated questions to plan and organise your response to a sample exam Q 

We began the lesson by looking at a sample question I had compiled:

Explore the ways in which Miller uses literary, linguistic and rhetorical devices in order to create specific dramatic effects in his portrayal of character relationships in this passage? (pg 108-9)

The wording of the question does not alter a great deal except for the 'steer' which is highlighted in bold.  The page number refers to a short section of dialogue where Proctor is asking Elizabeth what he should do.  I thought it was a pertinent choice because, as typical thematic issue in 'The Crucible' is that established hierarchies are tipped over and trampled on (Proctor is asking his wife what to do, not telling here), the language's sub-text references the themes of honesty, dishonesty and theocracy in the play and the reversal of hierarchy between Proctor and his wife enable students to bring in theories like Lakoff and Grice. 

We discussed the wording of the question, which we have done several times, and knew they had to use the 'steer' to focus their discussion of linguistic features in the extract.  They then had to do the following:

Write the question down on A3 paper and surround it with questions that this question provokes. What do you need to find out in order to answer this question?

The girls did as instructed, and began scanning the relevant pages to see what they could see.  Here the cunning plan fell down a little. They were nervous of writing down questions, worried about doing it wrong which meant I needed to prompt them with some ideas e.g. 'What IS the relationship of the characters in this scene?'  A deliberately simple question whilst telling them it is no problem to write simple questions or ones that deal with the blindingly obvious. Examiners are not mind-readers, the blindingly obvious has its uses. They then felt more able to write their own questions, even if tentatively. 

We then read to the end of the play discussing language features as we noticed them - here it was mostly them doing this rather than me and the girls then felt able to ask questions of the text as we read.  More time was given to then add questions to their A3 sheet. We shared these amongst ourselves and each added to their range of questions about the exam question.  They were generating an essay plan and they didn't really know it! 

The pedagogy of Twitter

The next part of the lessons is largely down to Twitter and the marvellous @JOHNSAYERS.  A while ago, after a Twitter #eyelashflutter or two,  he'd emailed me his magnificent question grid and question cards.  If you have a read of his post on questioning here you'll get an idea of this fella's genius and generosity. And here is a crudely copied and pasted version of his grid. 

Question Grid ?	Is? Present	Did? Past	Can? Possibility	Would/could? Probability	Will? Prediction	Might? Imagination
What? Event
Where? Place
When? Time
Which? Choice
Who? Person
Why? Reason
How? Meaning

I showed the girls this grid explaining the difference between higher order and lower order thinking and questionning.  They then had to assess the question they'd already written, working out which were higher, middle or lower order thinking.   Whilst doing so they were able to recognise when notes they had made in the response to their own questions were lower or higher order thinking.  Here their learning, or the more Ofsted friendly term 'progress' is made very visible to them.

Visible learning: progress, progress, progress

Once this was done, I asked them to choose which questions to re-formulate using John's grid. 

E.g. One pupil's original question was:

What is the explicit and implicit meaning of the conversation between Proctor and Elizabeth?  

Now, I'll be honest, I was quite chuffed with the question as it was because she was already thinking about the layers of meaning within the language AND focusing her idea on the steer of the exam question, but she re-formulated it anyway to:

How might the explicit and implicit meaning of the conversation between Proctor and Elizabeth be interpreted by the audience? 

I have a 'Learning Wall' display in my classroom which has the SOLO symbols and verbs at its heart, which I often refer to through out the lesson.  After this question was formulated, I could show them that their response to it would require them to hypothesise and theorise - creating an Extended Abstract response to the exam question.  

Once this had been made explicit to the class, all were able to confidently re-formulate their questions, sharing them with each other and happy in the knowledge they'd pushed themselves onto Extended Abstract thinking by the end of the lesson.   

Even more noticeable, as the lesson progressed, they were the ones generating questions verbally, e.g."Would Lakoff's theory be applicable here Miss?"  

Which I of course re-buff with a, "Explain why you think so." And she did, confidently.

On their sheet of A3 were a comprehensive set of challenging questions they had generated themselves; notes they had made on how to respond to these questions and relevant quotations.  An essay plan.  Now, imagine, if I'd began the lesson explicitly using the phrase 'essay plan' in my Lesson Objectives you can just imagine the excitement on their little faces can't you? But, they looked at their sheet full of notes and questions and said, "Essay due in next week Miss?".  

We finished a happy band of teacher and pupils, because it felt like many weeks and months of work on the play, linguistic terms, language analysis, application of theory; HOW they are learning had culminated together all at the right time.  The use of SOLO and John's question grid combined together beautifully to help them make real progress in the lesson and they were delighted to know they had reached the Extended Abstract thinking stage of SOLO. They had really demonstrated noticeable confidence in themselves as learners. 

Now, I wonder what kind of grading this lesson would get? *bites nails*

Breaking blogger's block

I've had blogger's block for a while. At least blogging about my teaching. After two, not the grade I would have wanted, lesson observations (Ofsted and Performance Management) my confidence had been knocked, battered and bruised. Impostor syndrome looms large over me. Who the heck am I to advise others about teaching? Who DO I think I am?

But, maybe, just maybe the merest of corners has been turned and this is down to something that happened whilst I wasn't in school last Friday afternoon.

Context of my anecdote:
To cut a long story short, I have a doctor's note for reduced hours and work load (black dog combined with an Ofsted report that graded us 'serious weaknesses' does not a healthy Gwennie make), so I am currently leaving school at lunch. This leaves two lessons to be covered on a Friday, and with that doctor's note, there was a bit of confusion, with me at least, as to who was doing what regarding the cover. Acting with conscientious intent, I provided cover work, just in case. 

One of these lessons involves what I affectionately call my 'snake wrangling' Year 10s. I have them twice that day and had already taught them Period 1 that morning. We'd started my version of 'The Reduced Shakespeare Company Romeo and Juliet' - I'd condensed the play onto two sides of A4, adapted from a postcard from The RSC.

I gave a copy of this condensed version to our wonderfulness personified supply teacher and the class were to: 1. Read it through, in roles they decided last lesson, seated. 2. For each character part, highlight the words that show emotions, annotate their dialogue with abstract nouns (emotion words as I call them with that class) and use that to work out how their parts should be acted. 3. The designated directors to begin directing the play section by section the actors using their notes to aid the director.

The anecdote
Yes, 'practical' work in a cover lesson, was perhaps a gamble, but they'd asked to do drama for Shakespeare.  They suggested it, so 'Be brave' I thought. 'Trust them.' I persuaded myself, 'Be a bit co-constuctiony with them.' I'd tried to do it in a way that will only lead to a limited amount of time out of seats. I told the supply teacher, 'If you don't think they're in the right frame of mind to be out of seats, keep them seated.'

Yet something went horribly wrong.  One of the girls, who it would be fair to say has anger issues, totally lost it in the lesson. I'll not describe in detail what happened, as I don't want to bring my school into disrepute  - things are tough enough as it is - but I shall hint at the extent of the chaos.  In total, 7 members of staff came into the room. All at the same time? I don't know. Included in that list were the Head of Faculty, two Deputy Heads and a Pastoral manager (a non-teaching year head). The awfulness of the situation has been described to me more than once.

Now, oddly this has made me realise some important things about this group.  They have NEVER once behaved like that with me in the room. Yes, they have used every work avoidance tactic known to pupil-kind; yes, they have entered vibrating on the ceiling after witnessing a fight before the lesson; yes, sometimes they swear and their language would make a convent of nuns blush; yes, they are welded to their coats and their mobile phones are practically part of their anatomy; yes, they totally exhaust me; yes they are lovable rogues; so yes, despite all these difficulties and challenges in our classroom they have never shown aggression to that level, in that room with me present.

I often come out of their lessons feeling defeated; feeling guilty that they have not learned enough; that we aren't making enough progress quick enough; that I can't manage their behaviour.

But, but, but. There was no TA with me (there used to be, but I think the Pupil Premium has altered where our TAs go and why); there has just been me and them. There has not been a hyper-drive of descent into chaos and aggression with it being just us. Me and them.  What does that tell me about my teaching-self?  Perhaps, I'm not as bad as I think, just perhaps.

Post-script

This morning, Period 1 I had planned, and more importantly, got to deliver a whole lesson with them on Shakespeare's rude language in Act 1 Scene 1. 

I asked pupils to scan the extract while I was setting up a YouTube clip to watch and it didn't take them long to find some suggestive language once I'd clarified what I'd meant by 'rude language', in short, 'References to sex' is what I bluntly called it. 

I'd asked them to find certain words and then repetition of them, one of the being 'stand'.  
"What on earth is that referring to?" I posed to the class
A slight embarrassed silence followed. 
One of my best prospects of a C said, coyly, "The bits below the waist Miss."
"Yes, good!" I replied enthusiastically, "Now, how do those bits below the waist, erm, behave? What happens to them?"
The boys smile, the girls giggle and some coy euphemisms follow combined with a 'you couldn't make this up' comment from a pupil.
"It's erm, when you're happy." suggested one of my best prospects of a C.
"What?" said another lad, who has ASD and one of my most interesting characters, "Playing Fifa?" 

My composure crumbled and once returned I told the young man he had made my week and thanked him for making me laugh.
Back to the lesson, composure is back in place. 
"So," I ask the class hopefully, "Is no one going to say the word that needs, to be said? MUST I say it?"
Silence. Dramatic pause. "Ok then, they're talking about their erections, they're being boastful about how great they are with women. Is that anything unusual when it comes to blokey conversation?" 
"No Miss, of course not." they respond.

Towards the end of the lesson I show them pictures of The Globe full of groundlings and I ask them why Shakespeare makes the character's be rude and crude at the start of the play. Yes, dear reader, they knew why.

I point out that they had a whole lesson discussing Shakespeare's language, and asked them what they thought, "Well Miss, it wasn't really that difficult was it?" replied my best prospect of a C.

#pedagoofriday moment if ever there was one. 

Blog Sync 1: The Universal Panacea: The number one shift in UK education I wish to see in my lifetime

29 Acacia Road

Nutty Town

Midlandshire

MV9 2OH

19th  January 2013

The RT Honorable Michael Gove MP

The House of Commons

London

SW1A 0AA

       Dear Mr. Gove,

This blog post is addressed to you as I cannot think of who better to direct this blog syncing post, 'The Universal Panacea: The number one shift in UK education I wish to see in my lifetime' to, not that for one minute I expect your eyes to rest upon, lest alone digest what I will write.  For I am one of those folk in your charge that you publicly revile at any given opportunity. I am a classroom teacher in one of the secondary schools that you seem hell bent on destroying. 

Being a classroom teacher, I know my position which does not place me with a great deal of authority in the system as it stands, which in itself is, to quote Hamlet, 'the rub.' However, I have been a classroom teacher for ten years.  I have also dipped my toe in the role of middle management for a spell, and I have taught in three very different schools. My longevity in the role and variety of experience, I believe, provides me with a little more authority than you to comment on our education system and what I believe would make it so much better. I ask you, other than your historical public education utopia you seem determined to enforce on all of us, what do you actually KNOW of secondary schools and what it is like to teach in one?  What do you know of the pupils that populate these schools?  What on earth do you know about what engages the contemporary teenager? How much time have you spent with them? Tell me, how do you you engage a pupil whose has a brother in prison for murdering another of his brothers? Or the young boy whose mother has a mental illness, who is unable to wash, clothe or feed them properly? Tell me, as you seem to have rigorous answers to everything. 

During those ten years, I have yet to see the system evolve into perfect and I have lost count of the number of education secretaries that I have worked under, you lot do not seem to last that long, certainly no more than 18 months having been the average. In the past, that had been an irritant, but oh how my heart sank when the coalition cabinet re-shuffle was announced and we found out that you were going to break the 18 month duck and stay in position. 

What I am experiencing, as a classroom teacher is more akin to an Orwellian dystopia or a Kafkan existential nightmare of shifting goal posts, in what is deemed a 'good' school, or 'good' teaching.  Much like the protagonist in Kafka's 'The Trial', I never really know what the overbearing bureaucracy actually want; what on earth am I on trial for? 

Or, to pose another question, once we have figured out this Sphinxian puzzle, will all this really benefit the pupils that I see every week? Does any of it actually improve my teaching and learning?  The answer, Mr. Gove, is no.  What you have created is a dark, labyrinth of paranoia and distrust, emanating from you, and perpetuated by the Daily Mail which grinds away at confidence and competence of me and teachers like me.  Teachers who often go the extra mile at great personal cost to themselves. Teachers who care about their job and their pupils, their competence, about constantly bettering themselves; who at the very least want this to be recognised and not through the farce of performance related pay; a pay system which will be bureaucratically burdensome for schools and remove valuable time that could be used to improve teaching and learning in the heart of British classrooms. 

Moving onto the Panacea or Utopian element of the post, in the letter that you will never read, I find it hard to narrow down to one thing, so I'll do discuss two.

Firstly, should the education system be a means of glorifying an individual's ego and reflect the ideology of that individual? Does this positively benefit the pupils in my care? Does this actually and conceivably raise standards in schools? What could be in place instead? 

It seems inherently dangerous to those pupils that one person be given so much power over their futures without their decisions ever being tempered.  Even though, you Mr. Gove, have access to a range of educational advisers, you do not seem to care much for their opinions. Opinions grounded in classroom practice and sound educational research, for you know best, so it seems.  

What we need, the people on the front line, is our voices to be heard, our opinions recognised and our ideas valued through better use of the democratic system. It must be that educational decisions are presided over with great care, via multi-party input and a range of voices listened to from the classroom teacher, headteachers and world renowned academic writers and researchers. How that is to be done? I do not know, however, that has got to be better than the Orwellian and Kafkan nightmare we are currently in. Most importantly, it will be better for our pupils.

You could, if you were interested, look at democratic educationalists in action on Twitter.  Twitter is populated by a range of teachers who put aside their rank and file and continuously collaborate, cajole and enlighten on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis.  This is an idyll of CPD in action; how we want to be, how we are and how beyond cyberspace it now so often provides us with an idea of what an educational Utopia could be. 

Have a look at this Tweachers Tube Map, Mr. Gove (produced by @Pekabelo/Peter Jones):

Here you have a map that represents the virtual community of teachers sharing good practice, peeking into each other's classroom via blog posts that share a range of good pedagogy which transfers to the real world via Teach Meets. More importantly, all of this interaction and collaboration drip feeds into classrooms across the country. 

Why does this work so well for us? Trust, Mr. Gove, trust.  There is both implicit and explicit trust between Tweeting teachers that we share a common goal: to do and be the best for our pupils by constantly trying to improve our practice.  Is that ever recognised by you, Mr. Wilshaw and The Daily Mail? 

This virtual model can easily be transferred to the real world. Local Authorities can take this online Utopia and use it to improve the practice in their schools, to 'accentuate the positive'.  

Now, the other Universal Panacea that should be seriously considered, that never seems to be a part of educational reform is a teacher's timetable load.  Here, have a look at mine:

I am a classroom teacher which means I have a full teaching load. I have had this full teaching load for a decade. As you can see there are 6 lessons a day so out of a potential 30 lessons, I plan, teach and mark for 22 lessons a week.  Not that I have counted the number of pupils that this entails, for I think this would probably scare me, but I think that's at least 150 pupils, if not a a few more. 

Teaching standards are quite rightly, demanding, focusing on professionalism. Of course we should have good subject knowledge; plan learning that is full of stretch and challenge; mark in a way that enables pupils to improve; aid our colleagues' teaching and learning; lead by example and take into account learning beyond the four walls of the classroom and this is to paraphrase just a few.  We need them because what we do is of great importance.  The young lives we deal with matter to us greatly. 

Here comes another 'rub'.  During my ten years of teaching, I have yet to find a way to manage the work load in a way that is the best for both the pupils and I; be fully satisfied with the planning for each and every lesson; to maintain anything that resembles a good work/life balance. Ten years down the line, both physical and mental well being has been the cost to me and that rather heavy cost seems to increase under your 'watch'.  I know from the teachers I interact with so often on Twitter, that I am not alone in this. 

Here is what I propose which is both simple and complex.  Reduce the teaching load of each teacher.  When  Year 11 have left, most of us get a drop in timetable load and the atmosphere amongst teachers is palpable.  It is not just that Year 11 have finally gone, the reduced timetable this brings about allows us to breathe, reflect and feel that we CAN actually cope with the demands of the profession.

However, I am aware that this is a simple idea with complex implications for schools, not least budgeting because more teachers will be needed in each school.  Then there are the logistics of classroom sizes, number and location but do hear me out. 

What might this reduction in teaching load enable:

• I know that teachers will be able to plan lessons of consistently high quality that we can take pride in.
• We can consistently improve the quality of our marking and feedback.
• We will have the time to better reflect upon the quality of our lessons and act upon those reflections.
• We have the time, energy and bravery to take more risks with our pedagogy.
• Non-contact time will not just involve us trying not to drown under the workload but enable time to collaborate on a range of pedagogical projects
• We will have more vim and vigour to put into our lessons. I know I am at my best when not wracked with exhaustion.
• We can use non-contact time to take up the Twitter model and collaborate with teachers across our LAs and the country.
• We can peer coach each other into improvement on a regular basis
• We will feel that we can rather than feel that 'I can but only if many compromises are always made.'
• We will be best placed to put the teaching and learning at the centre of what we do, rather than the plate spinning act of teaching, learning, marking, data and more bureaucracy than we know what to do with.
• We can stop the feeling of constantly fire-fighting. 
• Everyone of those very important standards will improve.
• The outcome for each and every pupil will be better.
• We will have time for professional dialogues about teaching and learning.
• There are bound to be many more positive implications that I cannot think of.  
• Excellence will be more realistically with in the grasp of all of us.

I write this list knowing it is, much like your reforms, based on a hunch. If there is evidence for my assertion, I'm not sure where this lies.  It is a contradictory proposal due to its seeming simplicity and complex implications. With this hunch I feel, and it is a feeling, the educational Panacea that we all aspire to, consistently great teaching, will be more frequently achievable.  That being the case, the by-product of this, is the data that you hold so dear will look far more pleasing to your cold, hard eyes. 

I am baffled and confused as to why this doesn't come into your thinking. In fact, much of what you do and say baffles me, Mr. Gove, for I know not what it is you aim to achieve other than forging your path to promotion which will be at the expense of hundreds thousands of pupils well-being, and the thousands of teachers, who are dedicated, hard-working, and inspirational; who contemplate throwing in the teaching towel more often than they care to admit, because they still don't know the purpose of your Trial and how this Trial will make things better for pupils.

      Yours Sincerely,

       Miss. Drained Demoralised English Teacher


To view other blogs posted on the same theme click here

Metamorphosis

I think I chose this blog title because metamorphosis is what the education system is currently going through.  It refers back to an analogy I used in my very first, rather ropey, blog post about my interaction with Twitter as a teacher.  This is where I likened my initial interaction with Twitter to a caterpillar, which then metamorphosed into a butterfly once I waded into a #UKedchat.  

My dear friend and Twitter buddy @kevbartle articulates the beauty of Twitter here. He does it so well that I dare not repeat the exercise in this post.  Recently, there have been a few posts discussing what the current Crucible- like Ofsted regime is doing to schools and teachers.  One of the best is by @headguruteacher, which you can find here and another equally marvellous one by @Edutronic_Net does here. (Get me being all clever adding hyperlinks to my blog.)  This is how I came to the idea of metamorphosis.

What on earth am I wittering on about?

When you teach, you are institutionalised and this happens relatively quickly, often without you noticing.  This can only become apparent when you change schools for a new job and it feels like the world has shifted on its axis.  You are faced with many unknown unknowns (I've pinched that from an American politician I'm sure) which become known unknowns, and with some hard graft then become known knowns. (#ironyklaxon) and lo, the process of institutionalisation is complete: we are cocooned. Cocooned to the extent we can forget what has gone before, and more worryingly, not consider what might be.

To the potentially mangled metaphor.  

We are all, either happily or unhappily, ensconced in our own cocoons (classrooms),  taking the required nutrients from our host plant (school) but often we are too afraid to complete the metamorphosis into our desired butterfly (or in some cases, mentioning no names, moths) of the teacher we really WANT to be and have the POTENTIAL to be.  At the moment, the cocoon offers refuge from a storm we could not predict and from forces that seem too powerful for us to fight against; although we would just LOVE to be given the room to unfurl our wings and admire the pattern we and nature have created. 

Twitter can provide us with the nutrients for us to complete our metamorphosis; to create the pattern on our newly created wings; have the courage to break the seal of the cocoon and majestically unfurl our delicate wings and fly amongst a supportive rabble of butterflies. I Googled 'Collective nouns for butterflies': I could have had 'swarm' or 'rabble'. Rabble was the superior collective noun by far, given the people that I normally Tweet with. 

Teach Meets provide even further nutrition, and get this, we can flit to other plants, and use our proboscis to try out and taste different nectar. OK, in some cases, we may spit it out like a cheap bottle of plonk, but at least we got to taste it. 

Last night, on Twitter an extension of Teach Meets was bandied about between myself (@Gwenelope); @Edutronic_Net, @Ieshasmall, @kevbartle, @hgaldinoshea and @Benniekara about a 'classroom crawl'. Now, the 'day' part of this teacher interchange will not involve pub based CPD, however, if we plan things well enough, the evening period may well do.   The 'classroom crawl' involves travelling about to spend a day or an afternoon in each other's schools, to drink a little more deeply from this pedagogical nectar; to leave our cocoons well and truly behind and learn how other plants feed teaching and learning; how they enable their butterflies (teachers and pupils) to unfurl their wings and flit with confidence.

This Tweacher needs you! 

This directly relates to my new Performance Management targets.  The most crucial of these targets being the developing of Teaching and Learning in my department in the following ways:

1. Set up a department blog to share good practice; encourage collaboration; and offer peer critique and help that is 'kind, specific, helpful' (Think that's a @Totallywired77 -ism, *correction that is a Ron Berger-ism, thanks Tait!).
2. To undertake developmental lesson observations  (not judgemental) of the department and other teachers in our school to firstly, recognise what we ARE good at, and then use these observations to steer our teaching and learning needs.
3. Continue to use Twitter for my own CPD purposes then to share what I find and use with the department.
4. Share the best of pedagogical blogs with the department so as to encourage risk taking (and then record and reflect on our own blog). 
5. To attend Teach Meets and share the ideas gleaned from them with the department (maybe even present one day!).
6. To visit schools that are Good or Outstanding and find out why this is so; and work out how we can be 'Even Better If'. (Thanks to that Twitter conversation last night, well on its way. If you can offer me a 'placement' for a visit, please let me know via commenting on my blog or Tweeting.)

The power of a rabble of butterflies - unfurl the wings.

Having read my aims, I'd very much like your input and advice about how best to achieve these; record the outcomes and flag up any pit falls that I really ought to be aware of.  If you can and want to help, please leave a comment on the blog rather than Twitter, so that I can dip into your great ideas, when necessary. 

Who'd a thunk it? Twitter, blogging, Teach Meets and 'classroom crawls' as part of Performance Management. THAT would not have happened when I started teaching 10 years ago. THAT is PROGRESS Mr. Gove. Stick that in your education pipe and choke, I mean smoke it, Goveanasaurus-Rex. 

Let us continue breaking out of our cocoons and using Twitter, Teach Meets and 'classroom crawls' so that we avoid being the bloody annoying moth that is drawn to the one big luminescence that they think is the saviour of teaching, and instead be a rabble of curious butterflies.  

As ever, thank you for reading, and any comments, advice and help you will offer in response to this post and the marvellous @Xris32 for his editing prowess. 

A rabble of butterflies in action - agents of our own metamorphosis

I published and Tweeted this blog yesterday and as a result was awash with Tweets inviting me to visit various schools - number 6 on my Teaching and Learning Performance Management summary. So, for my own records and for you, reader to view the butterfly rabble in action, here are those Tweets:

I can't find the Tweets but the loveliness that is: @Ieshasmall and @kevbartle have also invited me down to Canons High - at least I hope they have and that's not a figment of my overactive imagination. 

daniel harvey ‏@danielharvey9

@ieshasmall @gwenelope Vindication often most important part English dept at my school v good and would love to host you HoD my friend (Birmingham)

Miss Scatterbrain ‏@KDWScience

@Gwenelope @xris32 wow gwen, mega stuff there. Would love to be I the loop will have to speak to @NannStimpson to see if we can help. (Devon)

Jamie Warner-Lynn ‏@deadshelley

@Gwenelope That's true. Let's not rule it out : ) I'd love to have you visit us. 

DebsF ‏@Debsgf

@Gwenelope Gwen, great blog! You are more than welcome to come and visit little old me! #tweechers (N. London)

Jill Adams ‏@missjillyteach

@Gwenelope If you ever want a tartan perspective, you're verra welcome :)  

samantha williams ‏@smanfarr

@Gwenelope loved reading this! Agreed with your points wholeheartedly! If Cardiff is closer come visit!

Rachel Jones ‏@rlj1981

@LGolton @gwenelope mines a 6th form but you're welcome

Joanne Rich ‏@joanne_rich

@Gwenelope Lovely blog and you'd be welcome to visit us any time you fancy an Island holiday :-)

David Doherty ‏@dockers_hoops

@joanne_rich @gwenelope I'll second that ;-)

Simon Warburton ‏@Simon_Warburton

Great post @Gwenelope and would be delighted if you could make it over to sunny Herts for a visit - can get you into some great depts

betsy ‏@betsysalt

@Gwenelope Ooh love your butterfly blog! If you fancy a primary visit come this way! (Bristol) 

Julia Skinner ‏@TheHeadsOffice

@Gwenelope Been tracking back the thread from the blog. Happy for you to visit us-pupil referral unit in Bristol @betsysalt

A lovely Tweet re. my point 1 on performance management - collaborative metamorphosis! 

Gordon Baillie ‏@AfLPie

@Gwenelope Great blog! Need the optimism. I've an idea for an online collaborative blog. Will share early new year if interested.

Plus the wonderful @Edutronic_Net has offered his wealth of expertise - and he really does know far more about educational blogging than I.

@HuntingEnglish has Tweeted these words of widom re. a depaprtment blog:

Alex Quigley ‏@HuntingEnglish

@Gwenelope the initial hurdle is the issue. Get someone receptive & get them doing one & cheer leading! Seeing the audience of the posts is a great spur. Also, finding some time for people to do it is essential early on. Could there training time/dept meeting slot? it is the 'extra work' resistance which is the stopper. People need to see the value: reflection; shared knowledge; audience &  (well that's most of the Tweets I favourited!)

Way out of my comfort zone

Taking a leaf out of many other Tweeter's books, OK blogs, I'm having a crack at the #Nurture1213 trend for blog posts.  Here, many have reflected on 12 things that went well in 2012 and a set of goals to achieve in 2013.  (As I type this, the penny has only really just dropped about the significance of the numbers 12 and 13.  I really HAS been the most epic of terms).

Now, as someone who has very high, if not unrealistic, expectations of myself and whose default setting of 'self-critical' is often set to 11, this is not going to be easy for me, at least the first part of '12 things that went well' in 2012.

So, with that in mind, I begin scratching my head and have a crack at things that have gone well for 2012.

1. I really began to master the art of the long distance swim, going from alternate lengths of breast stroke and crawl in order to swim my mile (64 lengths), to being able to swim continuous front crawl in double figures to being able to swim 2 miles, continuously, using front crawl.  It is what keeps me, mostly, on the right side of sane.

2. I've maintained my commitment to my circuit class, twice a week, come hell or high water.  It is a mental win because it means, if I continue to go, school has not 'won'.

3. Over the past year, good friendships have been forged and maintained despite work being all consuming at times.

4. I'm better at recognising when the symptoms of 'The Black Dog' (Churchill's nickname for depression) present themselves and can take some steps to stave it off. There are things 'to do' still with this which I'll have to refer to in the '13' section,

5. I have managed to decrease, rather than increase, my personal debts in spite of the governments epic failiure with the economy; my pay being frozen and an increase in pension deductions from my salary.  On the surface, not such a massive achievement maybe, but being the only bill payer in my teeny, tiny terraced house, it is not as easy as it sounds.

6. With a little help from my neighbours, a hideous damp patch has been treated and plastered.  It's only been there for nearly 10 years. I put it off as I was terrified of the cost. In the end it only cost my some money for materials and a bottle of wine to say, 'Thank you.' to my neighbour.

7. Going back to South Pembrokeshire for the first time in about a decade as I attended a wedding reception of two old school friends who had both married other people, divorced and re-ignited their teenage relationship via me, via Facebook (I didn't know this until I saw them again).  

I fell in love with it all over again.  As I drove back through old, familiar places I was awash with all sorts of emotions that had been boxed up for many years.  My first port of call was Freshwater West beach (if you've seen the last Harry Potters, it's used as the location for Shell Cottage.)  It was a gloriously sunny spring day, so my shoes were whipped off, and I strolled along the beach bare foot, tears in my eyes as more memories crept up on me and I remembered just how much I loved it. Beautiful. I then went to Stack Rocks and Broad Haven beach, places I know well and with huge fondness.  Oh how I miss and crave the salty air, and the calming soothing sound of the sea. 

8. I went white water rafting (at the centre near Bala) with friends from work and just loved it.  I re-discovered my inner child and lapped up every moment. This was the me I recognised from my youth, it was good to be reacquainted with that version of myself.  In the photos of the day I am beaming. 

9.  I revived my Twitter account, initially following the celebs and then I stumbled across @UKedchat and this an altogether different kind of online journey has taken place. It has given me autonomy over my CPD and so much more besides. 

10. I began blogging, initially a personal, rather than a professional one, for a few months and then I took the plunge and began writing about my teaching.  I was nervous to say the least. Terrified even, but received nothing but support and positivity. Seven months later, I am open to even more possibilities about how Blogs can be used for developing teaching and learning in my department and across the whole school. As Del Boy would say, 'the world's my lobster'. Huge thanks to @Xris32 for being a most excellent editor. 

11. a) Through Twitter I have forged many personal and profession relationships which have been enlightening, challenging and uplifting in equal measure.  I have begun attending Teach Meets, and because of this, I have met some truly exceptional people.  To name but a few: @kevbartle who gave me a lovely cuddle on meeting; @ieshasmall for Puckish fun at #TM London; @danielharvey9 who cajoled me into my first Teach Meet at #TMBrum and chauffeur extraordinaire for #TMLondon; @headguruteacher who was just wonderful and inspiring; @hgaldinoshea the very epitome of Gallic glamour and loveliness; @LizSaddler, who only lives 3 miles from me but we meet in person at #TMLondon, and @benniekara who was warm and friendly and most recently @LGolton who popped round for a cuppa today (23/12/12) who was as lovely in person as she is online. 

11 b) (cheat) Being included on @Pekabelo's glorious Tweachers Tube Map as Euston Station no less AND receiving my own A1 copy in the post as a present.

12. I'm going to cheat now and do 2 for 1 here:  I started wearing dresses to work for the first time in 10 years of teaching, it is perhaps a good indicator to my change of mindset.  In the last week of term I planned and delivered my first ever assembly to our not so easy Year 11s. Never mind shaking, I was vibrating with nerves before delivering it.  It was a success! Our head teacher was present and told me it was 'excellent' straight away and I found a lovely 'Thank you card' from her in my pigeon hole the next day.  I faced off my demon of speaking to large groups of people with some level of success!

Some cheeky additions:

Now, not wishing to mess up the numerical beauty of this idea, I won't add more numbers, but I have thought up some more positives: 
My start to the school year was catastrophic due to an epic Twitter faux pas on my part. My HoF spent weeks (for understandable reasons) looking at me with hate and contempt in her eyes.  We finish the term on a very positive footing where she has recommended me for UPS2 and included development of the faculty's teaching and learning using Twitter, Teach Meets, blogging and doing developmental lesson observations for the faculty. 
   I've also coached my HT on how I use Twitter, reading blogs and blogging for CPD purposes; given our Teaching & Learning AHT a pedagogical book list to purchase and introduced to Teach Meets - watch out Finham Park #TMCoventry.  
  A more self-indulgent positive is going to Stand-Up comedy gigs on a fairly regular basis; sometimes getting one over on the compere when targetted.  My sister suggested I have a crack at it myself. Interesting idea! 
  Last night this post provoked a warm, friendly and frank conversation about The Black Dog and how different forms of therapy have helped many of us.  We even have a hashtag to use #BD, much like the Batman searchlight, should we need to discuss it in future.  It was one of the best kind of surprises. 


Now, for my 13 things to do in 2013. 

1. Find, what is 'The Holy Grail' for me, which is a better work/life balance.  I have been teaching 10 years and never really got the balance right, as a consequence, my mental and physical health has suffered. 

2. Read more pedagogical literature and, more importantly, act upon the advice that speaks to me.  

3. Establish a Teaching and Learning blog for my department which will have a positive effect on the department's teaching and learning as well as my own. Eventually, I'd like to do the same for the whole school. (Suggestions for names for our Dept' blog very welcome, I am currently stumped.  Advice about how to run it, also welcome).
Update 31/12/12 - @HuntingEnglish and @Eductronic_Net have proffered good advice and offered more for help for this aim.

4. To be able to recognise when I am responsible and accountable for my own success, rather than attribute it to luck or other people. Here I need to practice what I preach to my pupils and accept that to 'Fail again. Fail better.' (Beckett) is what leads to success and break the 'mind-forged manacles' (Blake) of my fear of failure. This is one of the many things that will help me see off The Black Dog. 

5. To learn something entirely new and for utterly selfish and not work related reasons. This will feed my soul much better than I am doing at the moment. I am currently into my 'overdraft' as far as my inner health goes.  This can and must change. I've always like the idea of learning to dance, thank you Strictly Come Dancing.
Update 31/12/12 - Via Joel Hicks' (male model and fundraiser extraordinaire) Facebook page I have got in contact with people who run dance classes. They start the second week of the new year and I don't need a partner to go with me (a big thing that has stopped me before). 

6. To always make time for my friends. I don't always get this right.  I have chosen my friends well and they are wonderful people. Time with them is time very well spent. 
Update 31/12/12 - off to a better start here too. I had a meal with my local friends on Saturday 29th December. Good food, great company and lots of laughter. More of the same needed!

7. To phone my mum more often and be able to tell her how I feel, and to be able to talk about how she feels too.  I contain my feelings and bury them to the extent I can't retrieve them or discuss them with other people, which is to avoid what I think may burden them.  Mum always offers, I'm rubbish at taking her up on it.  

8.  Have the courage to make some small, and then big changes in my life.  This may involve getting a shower installed or throwing in the towel of house ownership; meeting new people; buying some more dresses, or even a change of job - by that I mean some form of promotion. This may even involve, with some courage, good luck and a following wind, include my de-singlification (made-up word). 
Update 31/12/12 - Here I have made several marginal gains!

• Bought and worn dresses to work, for first time in a decade (mentioned above), so come pay day, another dress was ordered!
• Bought and worn a pair of skinny jeans for the first time. As long as the top is long enough, and heels are worn, they look quite good!
• I tried scallops, anchovies and fillet steak for the first time when out with my friends (mentioned above).
• I have had the same hair cut for a good few years. Today I was brave and had a new one. The picture was posted on Facebook on Twitter and I had so many lovely comments!

9. Play my part in helping our new and fabulous Head Teacher in helping to turn our tanker (school) around and onto a better course.  I think she is exceptional and easily the best Head I have ever worked for.  I want to stick around to see how and where she takes us. 

10. To be able to use my dolphin like swimming capabilities to good use, in some sort of sponsored, long distance, open water swim or do the swimming leg in a some kind of team triathlon.
Update 31/12/12 @Edutronic-Net and @_MrsThatcher_ have suggested I found out about open water swims on greatswim.org - brilliant, thank you! Now, to get a wetsuit!

11.  Make sure I go back to Pembrokeshire, to visit my friends and bask in what is clearly a jewel of the British Isles.  It was much like going back to Middle Earth's Hobbiton; brim full of the same quirks and charms.

12. Keep up my girlie days out in Birmingham with my friend Lisa and hopefully come with her down to Cornwall again. It was a heavenly patch in our last Summer holiday. Cornwall was magical and her family were just awesome. 
Update 31/12/12 - Our first one of the year is set for 5th January 2013 before we lurch back to school. Long may they continue!

13. To maintain all these many Twitter tweacher relationships I've established so far; continue to share and collaborate with these wonderful people; meet many more and perhaps, just perhaps, find the chutzpah to actually present at a Teach Meet. 
Update 31/12/12 The subsequent blog post documents all the lovely, warm and welcoming invitations I've had from many Tweachers to visit their schools. As Jean-Luc Picard would say - make it so!

(Another, personal cheeky addition. To hit the mythical and magical savings target of the equivalent of 3 months salary in the bank. I'm not so far off!).